Looking Down the Long Road

Harold Camping was wrong! (Again!)

- Or -

Why your creditors are still calling you on October 22, 2011.

Let’s give Harold credit for at least trying to unravel the mystery of  The Long Road. Most of us don’t spend the time necessary to be prepared for Armageddon, let alone speculate on when it will come about.

We let others do the hard work! .

Ice ages, meteorites, earthquakes, war, famine, elections, and revolutions each are critical elements in formulaic predictions of end times. Once a person dares to take the challenge and  enter such a bedazzling array of possibilities, it's no wonder that they may easily commit a miscalculation and determine the wrong date.

[For a list of recent blunders, let me direct you to The Doomsday List.]

The fact that others have failed at this task does not absolutely preclude the possibility that everyone who tries to set a date for Armageddon will also fail. Does it?

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists have tracked the probability of an End Times resulting from nuclear war for decades. Never offering a specific date, they have, nevertheless, offered the public the inside scoop (and pretty good betting odds) on how imminent such a scenario seems likely.  Currently it's set for 6 minutes before BOOM!

[P.S. If you are feeling (un)Lucky, you can place a chit at End of World Betting. The odds? 1,000.000/1].

For years, Nostradamus guided the doomsayers. His predictions seem rather old hat - quaint - for the New Millennium.

 Today, EOW believers are more likely to cite the Mayan Calendar.

 Personally, ARELLE is inclined to the scientific-rational theories that spell out the word KA-B-O-O-M!

Sure, like everyone else, I’m concerned about melting polar caps, the collapse of Greenland glaciers, the de-glaciation of mountain ranges, and the Amazon’s conversion into housing tracts.

Still, the one concept that seems to be most convincing is the theory promulgated by astrophysicist Donald Brownlee and paleontologist Peter Ward. 

In their book, The Life and Death of Planet Earth, they focus our attention on the life cycle of our SUN! According to their study, we only have some 500 billion years to go before - well, before it's LIGHTS OUT

Sounds like a long time away, does it? Well, only because you haven’t been born 499,999.999,999 years from now! To allow us to better relate to this crisis, Brownlee and Ward analyzed the lifespan of our SUN and created a 12-hour model to explain such an unfathomable timeline. According to their hypothesis:

A)  It is now 4:30 AM. 

B)  Our “day in the sun” will be over by 5 AM. 

      And, the clock ticks on - as if anyone will
      notice!

C)  By 8 AM, the oceans will vaporize, and 

D) by NOON, of course, it's Checkout Time.

No Exceptions!

And, that, my friends, is some fade-to-black scenario. And, it will all happen within the next 7.5 billion years!

Are you prepared? 

 

Well, until further down the road... Keep smiling . . . and, remember . . .Hmmmmm . . .How does that ol' Beatle song go?

Oh, yeah . . . I remember.     THE END.  RL

Them with the most STUFF, WIN!

Alright, then. I must assume that you have sat down at the kitchen table by now and planned your initial steps to survive the end of the world. Perhaps you have already made arrangements with a contractor to construct your underground, blast-proof, water-proof, varmit-proof, gas and chemical-proof, long-term hardened shelter. By cashing in a bit of the gold bullion you have been collecting, perhaps you can build in Tuvalu.

            What’s that? You haven’t any gold? It is one of the essential items you will need as world tumult gains momentum – and it will! Soon!

            I just uncovered a message from our President that should spur your plans along. It is a pre-recorded speech to be released on December 21, 2012 – the date the Mayan Calendar cites as the beginning of the end. If you have any doubt why it is important now to begin your preparations in earnest, check out the doomsday message here.

            There’s not much time to get everything done. First, then, lets organize a list of what you will need to take into the shelter with you (besides friends and family, of course):

·         Food

·         Water

·         Home security tools

·         Bartering Means

Fortunately, the marketplace has niche merchants that have taken the doomsday scenario(s) to heart AND have generously offered to help us “be prepared.”

For FOOD, check out Food Insurance on the web. This site offers an easy calculator to make your planning easy. Simply go to “How much do I need,” plug in the number of people and the length of time you will need to feed them. Packages are available for 2-week to 12-month emergency plans. Of course if you adjust for time necessary to plan, plant, and harvest a garden – you may want to purchase multiple 12-month supply packages (No need to worry. The “food” has a shelf life of 25+ years).

WATER is a critical component of your survival plan. People can live for weeks without proper nutrition, but only days without water. You might consider the WalMart solution here and simply buy a Brita© or PUR  pitcher for $20 - $40 (with dozens of replacement filters).

REI, the outdoor equipment retailer, has a full line of “filters and purifiers” you might want to check out (perhaps some will be listed in their “Sale & Clearance” category so that your savings can go toward a private stash of Perrier – just in case you find a need to celebrate!)

 

‘

HOME SECURITY TOOLS can range from stun guns to anti-zombie weapons. You will want to be prepared for any and every eventuality.Along the continuum of weapons (aka “Home Security Tools”) are pistols and rifles. But don’t overlooks the availability of decommissioned, military-grade weapons of less-than-mass-

destruction capacity.

Finally, a brief review of BARTERING MEANS.

Any number of websites will confirm that – even IF the WORLD doesn’t end – OUR MONETARY SYSTEM is DOOMED!!! (If you don’t believe me, you can google it yourself!)

The Euro, the Yen, the Pound Sterling, and, yes, the Almighty Dollar (thanks to Ben Bernake) are all losing their value at catastrophic rates. It’s not clear who is behind this devaluation – whether it’s the IMF, United Nations, the Federal Reserve, or some other vile entity – but world currencies ARE collapsing!

What can you do? The experts on doomsday scenarios seem unanimous on this response. BUY GOLD!

Gold has increased in value by over 400% in the last decade or two (even more if you go back a hundred years or more!). You can’t lose money by investing in gold AND its value will be easily acknowledged in the world of chaos that lies in wait just around the next curve in the road. There are many places on the web where you can negotiate the purchase of a pound or two of gold. But buyer beware! I’m not sure how trustworthy some of these merchants are. Still, at over $1,700 per ounce, how can you go wrong!!

            We’ve covered a lot of ground with this post. I apologize we haven’t the time to go into each topic with more depth. Hopefully, I’ve given you the roadmap of items you’ll want to gather with you in your shelter. The rest is up to you.

            My next post will possibly be my last (I just heard on NPR this morning that the world might end on October 21, 2011). If there is a topic you would like me to discuss before signing off, please send me a post.

            So, for now, let’s go out with a song. Better yet, 21 songs for the impending apocalypse!

            ENJOY!

"Handful of senators don't pass legislation
. . .When human respect is disintegratin'
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin'

And you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believewWe're on the eve of destruction.

Barry McGuire, Eve of Destruction (1965)

It’s not that Barry McGuire was prescient. If you Google the lyrics, you’ll quickly see that the balance of the song addresses international conflict, unending wars, racial strife, maddening politics . . . hmmm . . . the more things change, the more they stay the same?

(McGuire’s song sets the tone for a nostalgic, pictorial look back at the good ol’ (bad) times at You Tube. Click here to check it out.)

The idea of the world’s end stirs at the very periphery of our daily news. Many shock jocks, particularly those broadcasting talk radio, political commentary, are inclined to dangle the end times scenario as an immanent threat. Whether it’s the collapse of the Western society and economy, conflagration in the MidEast, North Korea’s alignment with Iran, a cosmic collision or ObamaCare, we are advised to expect the worse.

So, as promised in earlier posts, here is a guide to making yourself “at home” during the approaching storm.

I was thinking about the movie, The Book of Eli and how much it resembled Mad Max, a much earlier (1979) post-apocalyptic movie. Both movies are quite desolate in their setting, introducing ystopian worlds sparsely populated, where survivors are likely to be bandits by trade. Apparently, one must constantly these worlds – whether by foot or by monstrous, armored ATVs – in order to survive.

But, what if there were an alternative – a place of your own where you could kick back, relax, and escape the humdrum, sturm and drang of the world? How about building a place of your own?

The Millenium Manor Castle, built some 50 years ago, is one man’s housing solution for “general Armageddon purposes.” This 14-room, owner-built abode is built to withstand natural and, presumably, unnatural forces. Constructed with 19” stone walls, a 423-ton roof, and sealed with 4,000 bags of concrete, this home offers the simple elegance and splendor any homeowner might covet to accomodate a fortified lifestyle. Complete with a sauna, a hand-dug well, surrounding fruit trees and garden plots, the Millenium Manor Castle offers the survivalist all the comforts of home – plus a dungeon, should the need arises.

Perhaps being exposed to passersby (i.e., bandits!) does not appeal to you. After all, if being out in the open demanded that you had to keep arms at the ready to defend your mansion, when would you have time to relax? Perhaps you would be more interested in an underground bunker.

An underground bunker can also be a DIY project. You can probably go on Craig’s list and procure a good, used John Deere or Komatsu excavator for under $250k. If building your bunker in secret is not a priority,  then you can contract the services for much less. I did not find any plans at Home Depot but did locate some tips online for building a rock-solid bunker. Perhaps the most important tip I came across was “don’t advertise” your bunker. Friends and family – though great to have over during the holidays or to watch a football game – are not always welcome during the end times.

            If, however, your idea of survival means maintaining community ties, the commercial enterprise, Terra Vivos, may have a “turn-key” solution for you. Vivos offers a full line of “impervious, underground survival shelters” in various configurations – family, group, and community-sized models. Like “time-share” condominium plans, Vivos negotiates shelters between co-owners. For just $9,950, you may have the right stuff to join a group of fellow survivalists in your own neighborhood. I should mention, you cannot simply “buy your way in.”

The folks at Terra Vivos understand that everyone is not necessarily a good candidate to survive and natural or man-made catastrophe. They have figured out how to discover the strongest candidates through an application and individual profile screening process.

Vivos reminds the potential applicant that they need to act soon. “It’s a race against time,” they admonish the hesitant and disbelievers. To get more information, be sure to visit their website. The music, doomsday scenarios, collection of prophecies, and videos will entertain those not yet ready to cash in their IRA’s tax shelters for gamma-ray-protected lodgings.

If this were the last night of the world. . .

If this were the last night of the world,

What would [you] do?

What would [you] do that was different?

Unless it was champagne with you?                                                           Bruce Cockburn

No reason we can’t enjoy music while we plan for the . . . last night of the world!

(Click here to catch Bruce’s live performance on YouTube! Go ahead. We’ve got time. No hurry, really! The Aztec calendar doesn’t predict the end until December of next year.)

Of course, THE end is not likely to come all at once! (Even less likely while I am enjoying a glass of Perrier-Jouët’s Fluer de Champange!).  

The Cold War threat of instantaneous nuclear annihilation programmed so many of the Baby Boomers, most have forgotten to reforge a different end-times scenario. For example, even the Apolcalypse, as narrated in the New Testament’s Book of Revelation, will be years in its unfolding.

The Mayans, Revelations, Nostradamus, the I Ching, Vishnu, and the self-absorbed blusterings of Glenn Beck have all been drawn into a vortex of new age schemes and notions on how the end is immanent. Whether or not it is, we can have some fun planning how to last for the duration of the event - in style - and not simply rely on being vaporized in the opening sequence.

Where can I get the best view for the end times?

            I took an extra five minutes to scour the web for the safest and best place to in the world to experience the end of the world. 

           Mr. Manjunath offers videos on YouTube and other documentation to support his notion that the best site is some remote area of the Himalaya Mountains. Now I don’t know Manjunath, nor are we likely to ever meet, but his idea has merit. After all, if I were to guess where the best place was to get away from everything collapsing, the Himalayas would be a reasonable guess![i]

            Ok. Himalayas. Logical – but, rather inhospitable, don’t you think?

            Instead, consider sitting back and watching the “storm” roll in, iced tea in hand, somewhere like this:

The island nation of Seychelles.

            I immediately recognized that this website, apparently authored by expats, had lifted my spirits and assuaged my eschatological fears simply by offering beautiful vistas around the world. With Papua New Guinea, Costa Rica, and Tuvalu among the 10 Best Places to Live for Escaping World Conflict, all I could think to do was smile. . . and, hum a few bars of R.E.M..

It’s the end of the world as we know it. . .and I feel fine.

Yes, I know last week I promised to look into shelter options to accommodate us during the collapse / disintegration of the Western (and, Eastern) World.

 I promise, if we’re both still here next week, I’ll clue you in on some awesome apocalyptic housing opportunities coming to your neighborhood.

Arelle

---

[i] Actually, Manjunath mentions the Kailash Mountains in the Himalayas. Those interested can visit his site by clicking here.

Preparing for "The End Times?"

Last night I watched Denzel Washington's "Book of Eli." It was faced out at the library so it caught my attention easily. Not a particularly good movie, as post-apocalyptic films go, but it was Denzel. Today, it strikes me that watching this film was additional homework in preparation for this new blog.

The subject matter of my blog is to preview products, services, and, inevitably, ideas associated with "End-of-the-World" or "Decline-of-the-West" scenarios. Although the web is filled with such material, readers can enjoy such proclamations easily during their commute time. Such ideas are regularly propagated by fundamental preachers and talk-show, shock jocks on the radio (Note: with Glenn Beck, you get both in one package!).

Although I do not listen to talk radio daily, over the past year I have become more intrigued by the companies sponsoring such programs. Why would they associate their products with the controversial content promoted by most of these shows?  (Some readers might know that consumer boycotts against sponsors of the Glenn Beck and Michael Savage syndicated radio programs have been organized for months.)

Acknowledging that talk shows reach millions of consumers every week, what product(s) benefit by their association with contentious, divisive dialogue pronounced daily by the programs' hosts and call-in guests?


The question changed over time as I began to categorize the type of product or service many sponsors were marketing. In particular, I noticed, in one fashion or other, that some advertisers were marketing with an alarmist message. Many, too, were explicit in emphasizing an uncertain - if not, calamitous - future. Not surprisingly, such views typically complemented those promoted by the program's host.

Fear-based marketing is nothing new, of course.  It often underscores the sale's approach associated with life insurance, home security, fire alarm systems, personal safety and protection products, hygiene, germ-free counter tops and much more. What strikes me as most unique in the talk-show ads is the extreme level of calamity to which these ads draw upon. Least of the misfortunes alluded to would have to be identity theft. As often, however, the listener/consumer is asked to consider preventative measures to deal with grand, natural catastrophes, the disintegration of society and world order.

What solutions could possibly offered to respond to such crisis? Well, believe it or not, there is an entire gamut of products designed for the hail, hearty, financially-capable, dystopic believer. To get an idea of the ground I hope to cover in this blog, check out the book reviews for James W. Rawles', How to Survive the End of the World as We Know It.

In my next post, I'll introduce the solution to "where will I go? Where will I live?" when the end comes.

Until then.

Waiting for the End of the World,
Arelle.